Once upon a time I thought I was a city girl. I was wrong. Give me a pair of Redback boots or Floral Gumboots, and I’m happy.
I still like five star accommodation. I love makeup. I love a cocktail party. I never leave the property without putting my face on and looking tidy. I like wearing high heels (because I’m short). I like the nice things in life. I love bubbles. I love Anti Pasto. I love Salmon. The list is endless…
I’m on the down hill stretch to 50 now. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a few years to go. Some days I feel ancient, other days I could rebuild a failing economy.
I’ve always loved a party…and still do.
I’ve always loved a drink….and still do.
I have surrounded myself with people who have similar ideals. They work hard, are passionate about WTF they are doing, love and work hard with their children, party hard, live hard….hard, hard, hard…
I think about the time before I turned 30. It’s a bit of an adjustment, whether we like it or not. 30 is a pinnacle time in our life. At 30, I was ready to relive my teenage years. Correction….at 30, I was ready to live the teenage years I didn’t get to live. Having said that, I have no regrets.
I was caught between a rock and a hard place at that time. Committed to being a great parent however wanting to ‘vive la dolce vita’. You can’t have your cake and eat as well.
If you had children between turning 20 and 30, you could expect teenagers in your 40s and 50s. We planned things that way. I didn’t want to be too old when my babes were teenagers. I wanted to be able to do stuff with them and without them, once they became adults. It’s not as though you get to absolve yourself of being a Parent….just the level of responsibility changes. They make decisions and as Parents, you get to deal with the fallout…good and bad. Life as the Parents of adult children begins.
I wanted to be an adult after children….
A few people have commented of late about how much I have changed. Have I changed? I’m not sure I know the answer to that question. I have grown into a person who is comfortable with who she is….no question.
So, it occurred to me tonight…. I was watering the garden, glass of wine in hand, being eaten alive by the mossies, and appreciating where I am at this point in my life.
Mr D and I have built what most people would consider a paradise. It is a paradise. One built out of continual blood, sweat and tears. You can work for a company for 20 years and not have that kind of satisfaction.
It occurred to me that I have a good life. I don’t need to look back at the ugly stuff that was part of my childhood. I can answer that question I couldn’t answer earlier. I have changed. I don’t feel the need to dwell on the past. Looking forward is all I need to do..
Wow. Bared my soul…..almost.
Do you look forward? Do you spend to much time looking back?
It’s an individual thing to find your way. I hope you find your way.
Mrs D x